“THE winter wonderland we see on Christmas cards,” dreamed Luke the Dude, “is a world of snow, warm coats and Jingle Bells – at a time when we have sunny skies, Chevrolet and Covid cops on the beaches.
“The seasons are reversed now, but what about this: On the evening of the shortest day and longest night of the year, it was so warm that the good lady and I were swatting mosquitos off our T-shirted arms.”
“Not so much of the Jingle,” worried Jon the Joker, “make mine a double please.”
“Double Bells coming up!” beamed The Governor (these are difficult days) while nodding to the barman. “How about you, ladies and no doubt gentlemen, shall we toast the winter sunshine?” And so we did.
Such is life on a Saturday evening around the fire at the local Fine Fare and Wine, where beer is optional if you must. Due to Covid rules the numbers of after-dinner conversationalists were somewhat reduced, which had no influence on the good cheer.
Luke the Dude, however, persevered testily: “The point I am trying to make, is that we are feeling for ourselves the facts of earth warming. So much for calling it a hoax – as does Donald J. Trump among his collection of conspiracy fantasies, ‘windmills kill everything’ coming to mind.”
Luke looked around challengingly. His challenge was met. “I do not agree,” declared Big Ben. “Trump was right about sleepy Joe being too old to pass a brain test …”
“Ah yes,” smirked Jon the Joker, “Trump’s famous cognitive test. He amazed the doctors by remembering the words Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV. Nobody has done that before!”
“Biden has not done it!” trumped Big Ben.
“No, he hasn’t,” sighed The Prof, “and neither have I. But if you don’t mind, dear boy, let’s get a second opinion on Joe Biden, next to Trump’s. From someone who also has no reason to like Biden and is likewise a politician, albeit more experienced than Trump.
“After last month’s Biden-Putin summit, that person opined that some media in Russia and America have it wrong about Biden being too old and frail for the job. Speaking to students at a Russian business school, he said, and I believe his exact words were:
‘Mr Biden is a professional, and you need to be very careful when working with him so as not to miss something. He himself does not miss a thing, I assure you, and this was absolutely clear to me. Let me say it again: he is focused, he knows what he wants to achieve and he does it skilfully, and you can instantly sense it.’
“That is the opinion of, wait for it … President Vladimir Putin, recorded by CNN’s Diplomatic Editor, Nic Robertson.
The Prof chose to respond like an economist: “That’s one way of looking at it,” advised he, “on the other hand, Trump is still in Putin’s pocket so there really is only one side and both of them are on it.”
“Ha!” expectorated Jon the Joker, “Margaret Thatcher wanted a one-handed economist and that’s why!”
The usual conspirators were catching up post-dinner at Fine Fare and Wine, where palates are pleased and facts are found.
“Enough of politics,” insisted Miss Lily, “if you want to have something controversial, how about our cricket team winning some tests again!”
“That’s not controversial, that’s great!” enthused Colin the Golfer.
“We’re talking about South Africans,” educated Miss Lily. “There’s always controversy. Have you forgotten about Quinton de Kock?”
“What?” laughed Colin, “not taking the BLM knee? Man’s entitled to his opinions, isn’t he? And he is a man for standing, and standing alone!”
“I do not agree,” contradicted Big Ben. “He is a leader in the team; not so long ago he was the captain. I say he should set an example. They all unite in making a statement that ‘black lives matter’ but he refuses. What does that say?”
“This business did now become a controversy and maybe that could have been avoided,” considered Irene the Queen. “He is even being criticised for keeping his reasons to himself and for having his own opinion.”
“In that,” noted Bill the Beard factually, “he has the support of his team-mates. Lungi Ngidi, an energetic protagonist for the pro-BLM stand, says unequivocally that everyone’s entitled to his or her own choice and that the team is united in playing for South Africa. And you could see that in their spirit on the field and how they congratulated De Kock when he top-scored at 141 not out, winning Man of the Match.”
“But what is De Kock saying with his stroppiness,” insisted Big Ben. “Does he not think black lives matter?”
Silence. Only The Prof sucking his cold pipe. Then he pondered: “Yes … I think I see it now. We have a profound misunderstanding here, caused by the absence of all the relevant information. Believe me, Benjamin my dear boy, nobody here disagrees with the plain English meaning of the words ‘black lives matter”. I am convinced that it’s also true of all our national sports teams.
“The missing information is that the words ‘Black Lives Matter’ are also included in the names of organisations fighting for goals quite beyond the plain meaning. So please, take that into account next time you start a war of words.”
With that The Governor called lock-up.
