“Hoezit!” Of course it was Luke the Dude, entering the local Pub and Grill to join the usual congregation of convivial conversationalists conspiring to save our town and the world. Not the country; we have our limits.
“Why are you acting like a TV ad?” enquired Jon the Joker. “You selling insurance now?”
“Oh,” pondered Bill the Beard staring into his lager, “You mean that ad, in the car. I prefer the one where Frans Steyn kicks the rep out. More realistic.”
“Speaking of realism, let’s get real and talk government,” opined Stevie the poet. “Do you remember that during last year the ANC didn’t have enough in the bank to pay their own staff their salaries? Again and again. Then matters got really serious when an irate supplier of printing services, Ezulweni, finally got fed up with the ANC ignoring the R102 million it owed them and started proceedings to attach our governing party’s assets.
“Instead of paying them, the ANC paid lawyers. The matter went all the way to the Appeal Court, where the ANC also lost. ‘Woefully’, in the words of the esteemed court. By late November Ezulweni was ready to attach, first whatever assets could be found in the ANC bank accounts, then the rest.”
“I am sorry to interrupt,” interrupted The Governor, “but it is my duty to notice empty glasses and I see a lot. Another round?” “What? Yes!” we all chorused to get rid of him.
Having downed the remainder of his Light, Stevie continued: “Well, here’s the deus ex machina. In the meantime another narrative was unfolding, on the international stage. Remember how South Africa’s first reaction to the murderous October 7 assault on Israeli civilians was to support Israel? And then to backtrack? In the United Nations we claimed neutrality, while the previously profitable relationship with Israel was unravelling.
“So, rewind. None of this went unnoticed in the Middle East and soon we had a new friend in Iran. Min Naledi Pandor visited Tehran to meet the president, Ayatollah Seyyed Ebrahim Raisi, and foreign minister Amir-Abdollahian. On the same trip she attended the Cairo Summit for Peace with Pres Ramaphosa.
“On 29 December, SA brought a case of genocide against Israel at the International Court of Justice. This cost us the friendship and confidence of not only Israel. 210 members of the US House, its parliament, expressed their disgust. Our membership of AGOA is on the line. Yes, of course the rand and stock market went down as foreign investors left.”
“How stupid was that? Anybody could foresee that would happen!” snarled Bob the Book.
“Ah, but there’s more to it than that,” smiled Stevie. “Stupid for South Africa, yes, but very clever for the ANC. Here’s why: Before any assets were lost, Ezulweni was paid the full R1,2 million plus interest and costs, as were others owed money and all debt in the ANC’s bank accounts. They now have billions available for the upcoming elections.”
Hmm,” pondered Big Ben, “makes one think…”
“No,” said The Prof, “makes one drink.”
Doing so, he had the last word: “Please register to vote.”
